Tantalizing Tara

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                                                        Oct.27/99

I look around me and I can't believe,

that my hints no one can receive.

 

Can't they see what is happening to me?

Maybe if I died they would see.

 

My life is everything but good,

leave this place I really should.

 

I need help that no one can provide,

no one would notice if I died.

 

I'm not sure what I'm doing here,

what I might lose is my fear.

 

I hate myself I really do,

don't feel sad I probably hate you too.

 

Maybe you criticize or laugh at me,

Maybe you think I'm crazy.

 

Perhaps you pity me or feel sad,

if it were none of the above I would be glad.

 

There's very few people who actually care,

pretend you do-don't you dare.

 

I don't really need anyone,

for my life is already done.

 

TARA

MOVING TOWARDS LIFE            March 11/00

I sat down eating my food,

I thought her mother was in a good mood.

 

She tells me I will soon have to go,

the problem solving process is moving too slow.

I look in the papers to find a place,

$400.00 a month you should've seen my face.

 

I look at this place and it is good,

start buying necessities I think I should.

 

Start packing my things I will soon say goodbye,

as I walk I shamelessly start to cry.

I walk out the door to face the world alone,

no friends, no family, no dog gnawing at a bone.

 

I think to myself "how will I survive?"

I'll struggle to buy food to keep alive.

I'm sure I can make it if I really try,

or maybe the best thing is to say goodbye.

TARA

Thanks for reading-love you!!!!